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11.01.2007

I guess the truth.......

I guess the truth is that I do not love my husband anymore. It sucks, but I don't. I'm in love with someone else. I miss him, I want to be with him, I can not live like this. I don't know what to do, because I really don't know always how he feels about me. Which sounds silly, but the whole thing becomes complicated for a lot of reasons. He talks to lots of girls all the time and I'm just very insecure all the time. We've know each other for 19 years so far, first loves and I honestly think God is giving us a second chance which I know sounds strange. But, it's just this feeling I have that God has plans, even when they don't always make sense and that he's giving us a second chance, but making it hard as hell. Throwing everything at us to see if we can with stand all of it. Like because we screwed everything up before and he gave us from the age of 13 until 18 to work it out and many opportunities along the way. Then later we would bump into each other and he kept making it easy for us, well now it's hard because we didn't take the opportunities when we could. I don't want to spend another minute away from him, let alone another 20 years. I miss him so much and love him, no one makes me laugh like he does and feel the way I do. He gives me the strength I need and clears my head.

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